That Night

That Night
by Gill Ward

That night you were undying
grabbing for breath, hooked
to metal and tube
all that time where was I?
Being domestic, tending pots,
with your drama
playing out elsewhere.

Unaware, just an ordinary
non-crisis night with stars and
moon and wind
like all the other nights.
Forgive me.

And was there a tunnel and how
could I have
not been at the other end
tight on the tug rope pulling
and pulling and pulling
like the Amazon
I am not? But I would’ve
I would’ve I would’ve
had I been there to witness your
fighting to live or even unlive.

But I, I would have been
the one of the two of us
to make that decision,
dug in hard, yanked, sworn,
wrenched every bone in my body,
sweated, with my hands bleeding
and raw not hands to stroke
and soothe you. They had
other, harder things to do.

Haul you roughly
back to a world
where you had other,
harder things to do.

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